3 Ways to Soothe When Your Kid Has a Challenging Day

We’ve all been there (or maybe you’re there right now) - your kid has a challenging day whether it is a meltdown, anxiety, the school calling about behavioral issues, or perhaps a therapy session is tough.

Oh, Mama, all you want to do is scream, I know. But in the moment, holding it together is the sole option. And so, we push through, putting on a strong face without softening around these emotions (when we are able), and it starts to take a toll; resentment builds because you cannot see a clear path for releasing the range of emotions you’re experiencing.

According to a research study published by the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2009) mothers of adolescents and adults with autism experience chronic stress comparable to combat soldiers and struggle with frequent fatigue and work interruptions.

These moms also spend significantly more time caregiving than moms of those without disabilities. The study also found, mothers of kids on the spectrum spend at least two hours more each day caregiving vs. mothers of children without disabilities.

On any given day these moms were “twice as likely to be tired and three times as likely to have experienced a stressful event.”

Throughout the years our family has waded through separation anxiety, crying spells, and rigidness around routines; while we’ve seen improvement with Nai’s ability to adjust, there are still shifts - up and down sleep cycles, new preferences (yes, socks must be the same type and texture before she’ll wear them, sound familiar anyone? Lol) and changing sensory needs.

Supporting our kids requires a lot of us (and we would do it over and over, because we love them so deeply), but let’s be real, Mamas, we also need time to nurture ourselves.

If you’ve followed When Motherhood Looks Different for a while you know one of our core mantras is “caregivers need care, too.” But how do you get this time when simply peeing in peace feels like a luxury? Yep, I said it. We’re real around here, y’all, honest Mama life.

When the pandemic started, I decided to support myself with intentional radical self care. I practice rooting in well-being anchors - wellness practices that I begin and end the day with such as meditation, journaling, mindful walking, etc.

And while this practice is nourishing, often, we need well-being tools to soothe us after our kids have experienced those rough moments I described at the beginning of this post.

>>> It’s what led me to create this free tool you can download with tips for calming your nervous system when your kid has a challenging day; it offers three practices you can lean into for grounding.

Sound Healing: I discovered sound healing a few years ago, and lean into it for grounding, peace and ease; it’s especially helpful for calling in calm.

In case you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, let me explain sound healing. It uses specific instruments, music, tones, and other sonic vibrations for balancing and healing the body, mind, and spirit. 

According to Yoga Basic, sound healing “involves using specialized sound frequencies to create a therapeutic atmosphere to promote deep rest, nervous system rebalancing, and emotional release.”

Psychology Today reports “one study published in the Journal of Evidence-Based Integrative Medicine found that an hour long sound meditation helped people reduce tension, anger, fatigue, anxiety, and depression while increasing a sense of spiritual well-being.

The sound meditation used a range of Tibetan singing bowls, crystal singing bowls, gongs, Ting-shas (tiny cymbals), dorges (bells), didgeridoos, and other small bells. The main instrument used was the singing bowls for 95% of the session. People who had never done sound meditation experienced significantly less tension and anxiety afterward, as well as those who had done it before.”

Curious? Part of the free download includes a link to a sound healing playlist just for Moms like us, and you can access it here.

Mindful Walking: We walk countless steps every day, often without awareness of the sounds around us, or how we are breathing and feeling within our bodies. Absolutely no judgement here! I am a newcomer to mindful walking, but in a short time, it has shifted the energy of my days and helps relieve overwhelm.

Mindful walking combines meditation with movement. You connect with each step, breathe deeply, and move from autopilot into awakening to presence. If this is an accessible practice for you physically, mindful walking may help ease stress, improve sleep and deepen your appreciation for nature.

A 2016 study exploring its impact over multiple days noted improvements in mood and mindfulness skills. And more specifically, the practice reduced depression, anxiety, stress, and brooding (Gotink et al., 2016 via and article in Positive Psychology, Mindful Walking & Walking Meditation: A Restorative Practice by Jeremy Sutton, Ph.D. Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph.D.).

The good news is you do not need hours for this practice or the perfect setting, just an openness to being present. When you snag the free download, I take you through mindful walking, step by step.

Dive into Deep Pressure with a Weighted Blanket: As Mamas raising neurodivergent kids many of us are familiar with weighted blankets for our kids. But how about using it for yourself to call in calm and soothe your nervous system? One study from the American Journal of Occupational Therapy found “deep pressure stimulation can help reduce autonomic arousal. This arousal is responsible for many of the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as increased heart rate.”

And I recently read an an article in Healthline, which highlighted “a 2021 study conducted by researchers at UC San Diego which “found weighted blankets reduced perceptions of chronic pain. Ninety-four participants with chronic pain used either a light or weighted blanket for one week. Those in the weighted blanket group found relief, particularly if they also lived with anxiety. The weighted blankets did not reduce levels of pain intensity, though.”

When I have time to myself in the afternoons, I find snuggling under Nai’s weighted blanket, especially on those tough days, provides supportive deep pressure; it’s like my body lets out a huge sigh, and I can float into relaxation.

We all know the saying about putting the oxygen mask on first as parents, but we’re stubborn. We keep going, especially when it’s rough. But those times when it all feels chaotic are an invitation to slow down (even if we cannot do this until hours later), and care for us.

>>> Don’t wait. Download the freebie, and connect to these well-being practices. Your body, mind and spirt will say thank you!