We matter - our children and families, our lived experiences; far too often, autism is seen through a limited prism. As Stephen Shore famously said, “If you’ve met one individual with autism, you’ve met one individual with autism.”

On this World Autism Awareness Day, I want to uplift a poem inspired by our Nai, and the many ways she continually opens us to deepen our embodiment of love, compassion, empathy, advocacy / activism and collective care. It is entitled “Wounds Become Wings,” because despite living in a world which refuses to fully see and celebrate neurodivergent people, our children, loved ones, and friends are soaring on their own terms; they also remind us that the wound, as Rumi once said, is where the light enters.

My brain has always worked “differently”, and I was relieved to find a new level of self-acceptance after being diagnosed with ADHD in postpartum. Once we left the toddler years, we learned that our son, W, also had ADHD. This added another layer to developing new strategies and tools as a family. At times it can feel like double the chaos, but being on this journey with W has also helped in two ways: 1) having a kid who is also neurodivergent has allowed me to see ADHD behaviors and tendencies from an outside perspective and 2) it has motivated me to keep trying new tools and skills so that W can grow up practicing them from an early age. Living in a household where two out of three people are neurodivergent (W’s dad is the walking definition of executive function!), means that most of the decisions we make are based around our ADHD. And like many parents in our neurodivergent community, we have found that some of the things that work for our family may not “make sense” to more neurotypical folks.

We all know the world is bigger than our backyard. But stress has a way of shrinking us into these bubbles of survival. On this International Women’s Day, we cannot forget, no matter how much we face in our individual lives, we belong to each other. As writer and poet Gwendolyn Brooks told us decades ago: “We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.”

As the current administration within the U.S. and governments throughout the world attempt to silence the voices of women and girls, especially those who are most marginalized because of disability, race / ethnicity, etc., we must continually take action, advocating like a mother. As Greta Thunberg, a neurodivergent climate activist, insists: “Once we start to act, hope is everywhere. So instead of looking for hope, look for action. Then, and only then, hope will come.” I am uplifting sustainable ways to take action on International Women’s Day and beyond.

It was early 2020, and I had just started venturing out into the world more regularly with my seven-month-old son–shortly before the world would shut down due to COVID. For a few brief months, W and I took swim lessons, went to yoga class and attended the new parent group at our local library. Getting out of the house was especially chaotic in those early winter days, and I was never quite sure if the activities were worth the schlep. Instead of sitting on the floor in our quiet home, we were now sitting in a sea of gray diaper bags, amongst a dozen other exhausted parents and squirming babies. There was solidarity in sleeplessness, and community in wiping drool off of everything. Some days it was more worth it than others. But unbeknownst to me, the very last conversation I would have at our very last parent group would change our lives and make every schlep worth it.

Mamas, our voices are needed! Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act (1973) which prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities by orgs. receiving federal funding > hospitals, schools, etc. is being challenged by 17 states. If the protections this law upholds ends, we’ll go back to a time when disabled Americans had NO legal rights. I broke it down into one critical action step which is contacting your State Attorney General Office and asking them to pull out of this suit Texas vs. Becerra.

All over the country, as book bans rise, and history / herstory is suppressed, learning about the contributions of marginalized groups could not be more urgent. The theme of Black History month this year is labor, and I thought it fitting to highlight the labor and contributions of Black disability rights activists, many of whom are not as well known as other renowned African Americans. It’s time that EVERY Black voice with immense contributions in the struggle for equality is centered - particularly as Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is a target of the Trump administration and MAGA Republicans. Check out yesterday’s blog post on ways to take action for disability rights; there also several articles on the disability rights activist Brad Lomax.

We are living through unprecedented times. I know you feel it, too, Mamas. In addition to the day-to-day challenges you and I navigate supporting our kids, we now hold our collective breath as the Trump administration, and states across the country (including Maryland where we are based) plan cuts to programs and services (Maryland’s proposed 2026 budget would eliminate $200 million from the Development Disabilities Association) which drastically impact families like ours who are raising children with disabilities. We are sharing ways you can take action and advocate like a mother; it’s never been more important.

I am looking forward to being in community with all for the first Mindful Mama IG LIVE Chat, Wednesday, Jan. 29, 7:30pm EST. I’ll share self compassion tips for Moms like us - raising neurodivergent kids and Moms who are neurodivergent themselves. ♥️ Let’s unwind together. Because it is imperative for us to care for ourselves on this journey, too. Oh, and I know life comes at us fast; if you miss it live, no worries! I always save the replay. See you all soon, Mamas.

We can still center calm, even with our kids home or traveling to meet up with family and friends (if that is accessible for you ) by tapping into the power of mindfulness. Check out four ways we can soothe during this season + reduce stress, including a well-being tool called Square Breathing which you can do in a matter of seconds.

How we handle stress makes a difference. On this out of the box motherhood journey, we carry more of it than most Mamas. We’ve had some challenging weeks at our house lately - sleep issues, hyperactivity, and anxiety. And the other day I lost it, and let out a scream. I started to beat myself up, but then remembered mindful mothering isn’t some place you “arrive,” it’s a day-to-day practice; we learn it not only for ourselves, but our kids. Nai actually helped ground me in the moment! Head over to watch the video and snag some tips and affirmations.

Last month on Sat., Sept. 28, we came together in community for our first Moms & Kids Like Us Meet Up 🛝 , and it was amazing! ❤️The beauty of creating this space where neurodiversity is affirmed and celebrated… a space where we can say to another Mom, I see you, and know she understands! I am deeply grateful to ALL the lovely parents & kids who came into the space. I prayed that we would all have a wonderful time & God made it so! Creating our own safe spaces where we can connect in community matters.

We’re all living with challenges - how we deal, day to day, makes a difference. Even a few moments of mindfulness can make a difference in how you respond to a meltdown, anxiety, or the latest hospital visit. When we become more aware, as Mamas, of our triggers, it can help us support our kids through their own day-to-day challenges. It’s why I lean into mindful mothering / parenting - it brings awareness, attention, and curiosity to how I interact with our daughter Nai.

We do not believe in “other people’s children,” we see all children as our children - community, love, empathy and inclusion matter, not the individualism that is upheld in much of Western culture. We belong to each other. For months now, children in Palestine along with those in Congo, Sudan and Tigray have lived with unimaginable violence. Even in the midst of this heartbreak, we can help where we are. I caught up with Lourdes (@pajarito_reyna), a fellow Mama and volunteer who amplifies the stories of families raising funds to evacuate Gaza and get out to safety.

Having a disabled kid doesn’t mean you failed as a parent. Sounds obvious enough, right? But there are so many of us who drape unspoken shame around spirits. We learn anything “wrong” needs “fixing” - and that includes human beings. I know.  We’re all surrounded by the same abelist logic. The neurodiversity movement is helping  many of us (especially parents) shift into seeing differences as strengths. Disability Pride Month gives us another pathway to unlearm abelism. I am sharing three ways to celebrate that involve learning, community and deep, mindful listening.

Supporting our kids requires a lot of us (and we would do it over and over, because we love them so deeply), but let’s be real, Mamas, we also need time to nurture ourselves. If you’ve followed When Motherhood Looks Different for a while you know one of our core mantras is “caregivers need care, too.” It’s what led me to create this free tool you can download which offers three practices you can lean into for soothing and grounding when your kid is having a challenging day.

Mamas like us are always wading through anxiety around constant changes either with our kid’s health or our own. This may show up physically as tightness or uneasiness in our stomach (or gut area), or emotionally as worry about  We can use TSD techniques to understand what triggers our guts - the emotions we feel, thoughts and physical sensations. We can then identify ways to soothe ourselves such as affirmations or validating statements that acknowledge our experiences instead of denying them.  Ultimately helping us, step by step, lean into comfort with changes in our lives, validate our survival instincts, and soothe our guts when triggered.

When I first came across TSD mindfulness (founded by Sarah Vallely) I wondered if it could REALLY help someone like me - raising our neurodivergent daughter Nai (who has underlying health issues), while juggling marriage, and coming alongside my family in supporting Dad through late stage Parkinson’s disease. I didn’t (and still don’t) have an hour to meditate daily. It’s a miracle if I get 15 min. most days! I needed a well-being practice to support me in an accessible way.  TSD mindfulness is the awareness of sounds, physical sensations, sights, thoughts, emotions, energetic sensations, and the quality of your attention. It is a practice which encourages us to understand the mind body connection, and how this connects to the ways we experience stress. These are broken down into three fields: mental, heart and gut which make up the temperamental body, a TSD mindfulness term illustrating our psychological and energetic system.

Over a year ago now, when searching for an at-home speech therapist for Nai, I came across Megan’s name in an online Facebook for parents of neurodivergent kids; everyone raved about her heartfelt approach (through Growing Together Speech Therapy) with kids. From the moment we met, she put Nai, Kes and I at ease; she is kind, caring, compassionate, empathetic, and has a great sense of humor. Megan is an AMAZING Mama of two, and fierce advocate for her son Henry who has cystic fibrosis and is on the autism spectrum. I could not think of a better Mama to uplift for our first Mama Warrior Spotlight on the blog! I know her words and heart will touch you deeply. We see you showing up, Megan, through the challenges and joys. And we celebrate YOU and your beautiful family!

“There are so many deficits here.”

This sentence is etched into my memory. They were said by an “educational professional” at one of Nai’s early IEP meetings as she was entering school. It was a few years before we were able to obtain placement at her current fabulous school (which we thank God for daily!).

He spoke as if he were discussing an inanimate object, not a child. At that moment, I wanted to instantly cue up a video, and demand he open his eyes to all the ways Nai’s voice, talents and presence defied anything you could easily quantify on a page.

Why couldn’t he see her as a child?

Dedicated to my Mom, Trudy and in loving memory of my Dad, Rudy, who showed me that the root of all amazing parenting is unconditional LOVE! “Don’t claim it.”

“Don’t let them label her with anything!”

Almost everyone we knew said this to us in one way or another when Nai didn’t speak as much as other kids.

“She’ll talk more. Don’t y’all worry,” they reassured Kes and I between head nods and low hums. Those words held us, fed us, became our fortress, shielding us from doctors eager to label her. “We’re going to get another opinion,” we would tell them as the visits ended.

Until 3 words began tearing at the foundation of our fortress.

Global Developmental Delay