“There are so many deficits here.”

This sentence is etched into my memory. They were said by an “educational professional” at one of Nai’s early IEP meetings as she was entering school. It was a few years before we were able to obtain placement at her current fabulous school (which we thank God for daily!).

He spoke as if he were discussing an inanimate object, not a child. At that moment, I wanted to instantly cue up a video, and demand he open his eyes to all the ways Nai’s voice, talents and presence defied anything you could easily quantify on a page.

Why couldn’t he see her as a child?

Dedicated to my Mom, Trudy and in loving memory of my Dad, Rudy, who showed me that the root of all amazing parenting is unconditional LOVE! “Don’t claim it.”

“Don’t let them label her with anything!”

Almost everyone we knew said this to us in one way or another when Nai didn’t speak as much as other kids.

“She’ll talk more. Don’t y’all worry,” they reassured Kes and I between head nods and low hums. Those words held us, fed us, became our fortress, shielding us from doctors eager to label her. “We’re going to get another opinion,” we would tell them as the visits ended.

Until 3 words began tearing at the foundation of our fortress.

Global Developmental Delay

Not enough parenting communities reflect the lived experiences of Moms like us - raising neurodivergent kids, or navigating our own chronic health issues. But our stories matter, too! And here at When Motherhood Looks Different we are creating space on the blog to uplift them.